What to do Between the Tears… dealing with a Dementia or Alzheimer’s diagnosis in the family
You may or may not know that my father has Alzheimer's… it has been a long and twisting journey. Now, he has been in a Memory Care Home for over 2 1/2 years… we never in our wildest dreams did we expect the end of his life to be like this. My dad was a highly intelligent man who used his brain extensively… he wasn't overweight. He exercised. He had none of the basic risk factors… but sometimes you just don't know why or how these things happen and when they do, you need to figure out how to surrender and figure things out. (I'm not the best at surrender – I prefer to take action, figure things out and control what I can.)
But you can't control dementia. You can't control – let alone prevent or cure Alzheimer's.
What you can control is how you react to it. How you grieve. How overwhelmed you become and stay. How much you question and blame and how you decide to proceed.
It's a painful process – to watch someone you love slowly slip away. To deal with the behaviors that are so incongruent to who they have been. The “new normal” is rarely better than what they were. It's a minefield that no one fully gets until they are on the ground.
As you move through “the journey” as I like to call it, you can always look back with 20/20 hindsight and “shoulda, coulda, woulda'd”. I should have done this… oh had we only know we could have made this easier… I wish I would have done ______.
But know that if you are on this journey that you will do the best you can in a stressful situation. Just as I have done and am doing.
I've decided to write about my experience so that others can learn from my 20/20 hindsight. I've been helping others individually but am feeling drawn to do it in a bigger way. That begins with my book – What to Do Between the Tears. BETWEEN is the key word – there will and should be tears. You need to let yourself grieve and release the stress. But in between – when you can stop and think from the logical side of your brain – there are things to be done.
Read on to learn more about the book. You can find it on Amazon.
There are Times that Change Your Life and Test Your Limits…
Does your loved one have dementia or Alzheimer’s?
- Have you felt numb, angry, powerless, sad and terrified all at the same time?
- Have you felt like you don’t know how to act, where to turn or what to do?
Author Tara Reed has felt these things too.
- She desperately needed a game plan: things TO DO to make a difference & feel less overwhelmed…
- She wanted to feel empowered: to know how to show up and speak up to get the best care that she could for her dad…
- She wanted to support her family and also be supported through her own grief…
Wouldn’t it be great if…
- You had someone you trusted with experience to rely on for advice and support instead of trying to guess at what the best thing to do is with every new decision you’re confronted with and feeling alone, unsure and scared…
- You had a GAME PLAN to follow, and you knew exactly what challenges were ahead and precisely how you want to address them BEFORE you’re forced into making an impulsive, uniformed decision …
- You knew what to say or do to decrease your loved one’s anxiety, confusion or even anger?
- You could make an extremely difficult situation to deal with even just a little bit easier for everyone involved …
“What to Do Between the Tears… A Practical Guide to Dealing with a Dementia or Alzheimer’s Diagnosis in the Family” by Tara Reed is the result of the extensive research Tara performed while developing the best caregiving solutions to lovingly address her father’s needs as he progresses through the evolution of his Alzheimer’s disease diagnosis.
This easy to follow guide is a compilation of the professional advice, guidance and critical information Tara selectively pieced together from the countless doctors, care home managers, articles, support groups and classes she encountered in her journey for the optimum solutions to provide her father the best care possible and to prepare herself and her family for the road ahead.
This wonderful guide offers a framework to work through the decisions you will face and how to find the happy moments and joy in your new reality. Tara sprinkles personal stories throughout the book to illustrate the points.
Feedback from a pre-release copy:
“I stayed up and read your book from cover to cover …. WOW! Heartbreaking about your dad, I felt like I was going through it with you. In a way I am, as my mom is in the ‘recently diagnosed’ phase. I can now envision what I (and my dad) will be going through — and what I need to do PRONTO! The planner in me is about to come out and guide him more effectively!” – Penny S.
Topics covered in the book:
- Learning More after a Diagnosis
- Financial & Legal Considerations
- Medical Options & Choices
- Self-Care & Support Needs
- Choosing In-Home Care or a Care Facility
- Connecting with Your Loved One
- End of Life Planning
126 pages, 5.25 x 8″, softbound
Filled with links to articles and online resources
– Tara Reed